Monthly Archives: February 2022

Monday Matters (February 28, 2022)

3-1
In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.
-Matthew 5:48 as rendered in The Message

 

Therefore, just as your heavenly Father is complete in showing love to everyone, so also you must be complete.
Matthew 5:48 as rendered in the Common English Bible

 

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
I John 1:8

 

On this sacred path of radical acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.
-Tara Brach

Perfection

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
-Matthew 5:48

Once again, in response to Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount, I’m looking for wiggle room. Be perfect? The older I get, the more elusive that seems.

Here’s how I begin to make sense of it. There’s a fundamental difference between this call to be perfect and the drive for perfectionism. In religious circles, as parents, as professionals, there’s a drive to get everything right. That leads to one of two results. Either we get bummed out at inevitable shortcomings or we succumb to pride that imagines God is lucky to have us on the team. Neither are particularly attractive. Or edifying.

The Greek word used in this verse for perfect is transliterated as teleios. Translations of that word include the English word “perfect.” Alongside that, the word suggests being complete, whole, full grown, mature. In John’s gospel, in Jesus’ prayer for disciples, the word is used to reflect his request that his disciples be made completely one (John 17:23). In Luke’s gospel, the word is meant to suggest work that is finished or fulfilled (Luke 13:32). I’m reminded of how the idea of salvation expressed in scripture can be seen as a move toward wholeness.

It’s hard to read the whole Bible and conclude that Jesus expects us to be perfect in terms of getting it right all the time, in terms of never sinning. He was clear-eyed about human frailty. He was surrounded by the Keystone Cops disciples who demonstrated that frailty in oh so many ways. But he still called them to wholeness, toward spiritual maturity, growth toward the integrated oneness reflected in the character of God.

There are plenty of voices showing us the perils of perfectionism. In her book on writing entitled Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott points out those perils: “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life…I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.”

Brené Brown, in a book called The Gift of Imperfection, writes: “Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”

But as Jesus talks to disciples in the Sermon on the Mount, as we eavesdrop on that conversation, we are meant to take it to heart, to try to put it to work in our lives. As we begin the season of Lent, a season of course-correction enlightened by self-examination, what are ways we can do that? What are ways we can move toward wholeness?

We begin by identifying those places where we don’t feel whole. Those are gaps where the light can shine through. Once we’ve got some insight into those growth opportunities, we can take steps toward wholeness, with healthy striving. That comes with practice, which suggests not only putting things into action. It also suggests that we get better, we grow, we mature, we move toward wholeness. In my own journey, those practices include reflection on scripture, quiet time in prayer, especially expressions of gratitude, service to those in need, and to the best of my ability, forgiveness. I’m wondering what practices have helped you grow in this way.

I love the bumper sticker: PBPGINFWMY. Please be patient. God is not finished with me yet. As we journey towards wholeness, towards salvation, may we find grace in the belief that God is with us. God is at work in us. Perhaps in spite of us. But we are not alone in it.

-Jay Sidebotham

 


Ready to begin your RenewalWorks journey?
Illustration

Join the September 2022 cohort of congregations on the journey of discipleship.

A lawyer approached Jesus, putting him to the test with this question: “Which is the greatest commandment?” Jesus’ response was simple, if not easy. He said it was about love of God (with all your heart and soul and mind) and love of neighbor as self.

That singular emphasis on love of God and neighbor provides the foundation for RenewalWorks, a ministry that focuses on spiritual growth by deepening love of God and neighbor in the lives of congregations, in the lives of ministries that animate those congregations, and in the lives of the individuals who bring life to those ministries.

When the details of life press in, parishes, like individuals, can inadvertently move away from this singular, simple focus on discipleship to the more mundane but necessary actions of running a church. RenewalWorks brings the focus back to Jesus’ response to the lawyer.

Get Started

Monday Matters (February 21, 2022)

3-1

From Romans 12

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

You’re welcome

For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
-Matthew 5:46-47

Over the years, I’ve had occasion to read many parish profiles, documents that aim to capture the character of a congregation, shared in the most positive light. I have never, ever read of a church that didn’t describe itself as welcoming. Episcopalians make that boast as a denomination, with ubiquitous road-signs that say “The Episcopal Church welcomes you.”

Yet I’ve heard too many stories of how folks have visited a church and felt invisible, folks bravely going to coffee hour, ending up reading literature about estate planning or feigning interest in a bulletin board of pictures of people they don’t even know because no one would talk with them. I’ve heard church described as family, which has a wonderful element of truth to it, but also can cause people to wonder: What do I have to do to be part of the in-crowd?

I served for a number of years at a church that was experiencing rapid growth. Someone who had been at the church for many years complained to the rector: “Who are all these people? What are you going to do about this? There are so many people I don’t know.” The rector replied, without missing a beat: “Yes, isn’t it wonderful?”

Brian McLaren put the question this way, asking about the character of our churches and denominations: Are we a club for the elite who pretend to have arrived or a school for disciples who are still on the way? It reminds me of the woman who challenged me on why I spoke about church growth or evangelism so much. She said: “I don’t know why you harp on that. Everyone in town who ought to be Episcopalian already is.”

Club or school? Obviously, McLaren aimed for the latter. One of the things I imagine about a school for disciples on the way is that in that movement, there is always a readiness to welcome folks, fellow travelers along the way.

by Jay Sidebotham

And this discussion presents just one aspect of the issue. These verses come after Jesus has told his disciples that they are called to love their enemies, to pray for them. If it’s hard for us simply to welcome people we don’t know to our churches, people who look a little different, how hard will it be to include those who we might consider to be enemies? Those who disagree with us. Those who have harmed us. Those who don’t like us. Maybe hate us. Maybe deep in the secret places of our hearts we hate them.

Jesus knew that the way of the world was to like the people who are like us, to withdraw into our bubbles, to settle into communities of agreement, cultures of affinity. That’s apparently the way the world operates. Even tax collectors and Gentiles know that. But he envisions another way, the way of love.

Where is that a challenge this week for you? Maybe it comes in your church, in your family, in your workplace. Maybe it comes with people who disagree on issues political or social or theological? How can you reach out this week?

And if the challenge feels beyond your capability, make it a focus of your prayer life.

-Jay Sidebotham

 


Ready to begin your RenewalWorks journey?
Illustration

Join the September 2022 cohort of congregations on the journey of discipleship.

A lawyer approached Jesus, putting him to the test with this question: “Which is the greatest commandment?” Jesus’ response was simple, if not easy. He said it was about love of God (with all your heart and soul and mind) and love of neighbor as self.

That singular emphasis on love of God and neighbor provides the foundation for RenewalWorks, a ministry that focuses on spiritual growth by deepening love of God and neighbor in the lives of congregations, in the lives of ministries that animate those congregations, and in the lives of the individuals who bring life to those ministries.

When the details of life press in, parishes, like individuals, can inadvertently move away from this singular, simple focus on discipleship to the more mundane but necessary actions of running a church. RenewalWorks brings the focus back to Jesus’ response to the lawyer.

Get Started

Monday Matters (February 14, 2022)

3-1
Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.
Romans 12:17

 

Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, “Love your enemies.” It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies.
― Martin Luther King Jr.,

Loving enemies (Happy Valentines Day)

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.
-Matthew 5:43-45

Regardless of the fact that today is Valentine’s Day, the Sermon on the Mount seems to indicate that our lives unfold with enemies all around us. G. K. Chesterton starkly put it this way: “The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.” That gets carried over into the history of the church.

David Brooks recently wrote a column (published on February 4) that spoke about infighting in the evangelical movement. Brooks mentions the song “We are one in the spirit, we are one in the Lord, and they’ll know we are Christians by our love.“ He states the obvious: the world envisioned by that song seems very far away right now. Bitter recriminations have caused some believers to wonder if the whole religion is a crock. (I confess that as I survey contemporary Christian culture in our country I can see their point.)

Brooks quotes Tim Dalrymple, president of Christianity Today: “As an evangelical, I’ve found the last five years to be shocking, disorienting and deeply disheartening. One of the most surprising elements is that I’ve realized that the people who I used to stand shoulder to shoulder with on almost every issue, I now realize that we are separated by a yawning chasm of mutual incomprehension.”

I don’t know how many readers identify as evangelical, but they aren’t the only ones to experience that yawning chasm of mutual incomprehension, with neighbors, co-workers, relatives, not to mention people in the next pew. The chasm clearly dominates our politics. It’s showing up in school boards and classrooms. It’s happening in workplaces. It’s evident where different racial groups convene. And of course, there’s social media. Since the Sermon on the Mount is addressed to disciples, perhaps we should focus on how that chasm surfaces in faith communities. How are we to bridge the yawning chasm of mutual incomprehension? Are there ways we can move toward love of enemies? Nice idea, but how do we do that?

We get a practical answer from Jesus. His call to love our enemies is linked to the call to pray for those who persecute. It’s the wisdom of the psalmist who says of his enemies: “They beset me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. In return for my love they accuse me, even while I make prayer for them. (Psalm 109:2,3) The psalmist prays for his enemies. It’s the wisdom of Jesus who on the cross prayed for forgiveness for his executioners. They knew not what they were doing. It’s the witness of St. Stephen, the first martyr, disciple who similarly prayed for those stoning him to death.

Prayer for enemies accomplishes a number of things. It breaks the cycle of hate, as enmity can breed enmity, hate can trigger hate, resentment repeats injury, only widening the chasm. Prayer for enemies recognizes that God holds in loving regard the person who is giving us a hard time, or doing us wrong, or out to get us. It’s an act of empathy, seeking to bridge that chasm of incomprehension. When we pray for those who oppose us, we put ourselves in their shoes. When we pray for them, we trust God to do what we cannot, which is change somebody else. And this kind of prayer can shift our own propensity for lingering resentment and festering animosity, perhaps even helping us realize our part in the chasm. I’m reminded of Anne Lamott’s insight: “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” Jesus notes that the rain falls on all of us.

One of the great examples of bridging the chasm of incomprehensibility came in the ministry of Martin Luther King. Dr. King affirmed that we are “woven together into an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.” He goes on: “Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the inter-related structure of reality.”

I’ve come to believe that the gospel can be summed up in two words: love wins. Seems like we can choose either to widen the chasm of incomprehensibility or weave ourselves into the winning network of mutuality, by which we are all tied together in a single garment of destiny. This is something worth praying for. Taking steps (even small ones) in that direction would be a good way to celebrate Valentines Day.

-Jay Sidebotham

Good Book Club to start 2022 with Exodus

Start the new year with a renewed spiritual practice of reading God’s Word. Forward Movement, with support from partners from around the Episcopal Church and Anglican Communion, will celebrate the time of Epiphany with a new round of the Good Book Club by reading the first half of the Book of Exodus.

Exodus recounts the journey of the Israelites from slavery to freedom. We hear the great stories of Moses, from his discovery by Pharaoh’s daughter on the bank of the river to the burning bush to his presentation of the Ten Commandments. Along the way, we encounter God’s covenant and explore the grand theme of redemption.

This year, we have a bonus time of scripture engagement: the Good Book Club will dive into the first twenty chapters of Exodus from Epiphany, January 6, to Shrove Tuesday, March 1. For those who want to keep reading, we’ll offer a daily reading guide and an overview of the second half of Exodus. That reading period will conclude on Easter.

The full schedule, including the list of daily readings is available at www.goodbookclub.org.

Sign up to receive updates on Exodus.

Joining the Good Book Club is easy: Open your Bible and start reading!

Monday Matters (February 7, 2022)

3-1

Psalm 37:1-8

Do not fret because of the wicked; do not be envious of wrongdoers, for they will soon fade like the grass, and wither like the green herb.
Trust in the Lord, and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.
He will make your vindication shine like the light, and the justice of your cause like the noonday.
Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way, over those who carry out evil devices.Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath.
Do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Bless them that persecute you.’ If our enemy cannot put up with us any longer and takes to cursing us, our immediate reaction must be to lift up our hands and bless him. Our enemies are the blessed of the Lord. Their curse can do us no harm. May their poverty be enriched with all the riches of God, with the blessing of Him whom they seek to oppose in vain. We are ready to endure their curses so long as they redound to their blessing.
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

 

An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Eye for an eye?

You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile.  Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.

-Matthew 5:38-42

Every now and then, when I’m trying to take in some of Jesus’ teaching, I confess a need to pull the guy aside and fill him in on how life really works. The gospels tell us that his family members and his disciples occasionally tried to do the same thing. I want to inform him of what it’s like to walk city streets where there is someone asking for money on each corner, or where disheveled persons stand at busy intersections with scrawled signs requesting help. I want to clue Jesus in that I just can’t give to any random person. I just can’t give to everyone.

Today’s reading from the Sermon on the Mount is just one more example of Jesus calling us to a higher standard, that expansive and rigorous standard of love. Again, he quotes the law, which said an eye for an eye, etc. That has been interpreted in our culture as permission for revenge. I’m told that its original intent was to limit vengeful spirit, so that in responding to injury, one was not allowed to exceed the injury in that response.

But then we hear those words that make us sit up and take notice. Jesus says: But I say to you…

And here’s what Jesus has to say: Don’t resist an evildoer. Turn the other cheek. Give extravagantly. Give more than one asks. Have you seen that in action? Jesus talked about such in parables, like the father of the prodigal son, who welcomes his boy home with a grand party, before the kid even has a chance to explain himself, apologize or ask forgiveness. It’s the story of the bishop at the beginning of Les Miserables who is robbed by a guest and when the culprit is brought back before him, the Bishop gives even more silver to the thief, showing grace instead of vengeance, mercy instead of judgment. It’s Ted Lasso immediately offering forgiveness to the club owner who had messed with him. When this kind of thing happens, it’s notable. In fact, extraordinary. And on some level, it makes little sense. Where have you seen amazing grace?

We run across Jesus’ rigorous standard in the promises of baptism. We promise to seek and serve Christ in all persons, not just the ones we like, not just those we deem deserving. We promise to respect the dignity of every human being, even those that we think are undignified.

Like the call to love God with all our heart, soul and strength, like the call to love neighbor as self, this call to extravagant generosity may not be fully realized by any of us in this lifetime. But it is the goal Jesus sets for us, illustrated in his arms stretched out on the cross. I’m not sure what to make of this high bar that Jesus sets. I miss the mark daily.

But I guess we face this choice. We can look for ways to limit our generosity, to try to figure out whether the person asking for assistance deserves it, or will use it according to our wise standards, or will ask again. Or we can look for ways to be generous.

Perhaps it’s not in our wheelhouse to be totally unconditional in our generosity. But we can try to move in that direction, with God’s help. How about starting each day this week with a prayer that we might have at least one opportunity to practice the kind of amazing grace that Jesus advocates in this sermon?

-Jay Sidebotham

Good Book Club to start 2022 with Exodus

Start the new year with a renewed spiritual practice of reading God’s Word. Forward Movement, with support from partners from around the Episcopal Church and Anglican Communion, will celebrate the time of Epiphany with a new round of the Good Book Club by reading the first half of the Book of Exodus.

Exodus recounts the journey of the Israelites from slavery to freedom. We hear the great stories of Moses, from his discovery by Pharaoh’s daughter on the bank of the river to the burning bush to his presentation of the Ten Commandments. Along the way, we encounter God’s covenant and explore the grand theme of redemption.

This year, we have a bonus time of scripture engagement: the Good Book Club will dive into the first twenty chapters of Exodus from Epiphany, January 6, to Shrove Tuesday, March 1. For those who want to keep reading, we’ll offer a daily reading guide and an overview of the second half of Exodus. That reading period will conclude on Easter.

The full schedule, including the list of daily readings is available at www.goodbookclub.org.

Sign up to receive updates on Exodus.

Joining the Good Book Club is easy: Open your Bible and start reading!