Category Archives: Monday Matters

Monday Matters (July 18, 2022)

3-1

Psalm 37:1-10

Do not fret because of the wicked; do not be envious of wrongdoers,
for they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb.
Trust in the Lord and do good; live in the land and enjoy security.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will make your vindication shine like the light and the justice of your cause like the noonday.
Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way, over those who carry out evil devices.
Refrain from anger and forsake wrath. Do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For the wicked shall be cut off,
but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

Judgement Day

Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For the judgment you give will be the judgment you get, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. –
-Matthew 7:1,2

From a column that appeared on July 8 in the NY TIMES, a guest essay by Anne Lamott on the subject of prayer, as a reflection of her relationship with God:

I will have horrible thoughts about others, typically the Christian right or the Supreme Court, or someone who has seriously crossed me, whose hair I pray falls out or whose book fails. I say to God, as I do every Sunday in confession: “Look — I think we can both see what we have on our hands here. Help me not be such a pill.” It is miserable to be a hater. I pray to be more like Jesus with his crazy compassion and reckless love. Some days go better than others. I pray to remember that God loves Marjorie Taylor Greene exactly the same as God loves my grandson, because God loves, period. God does not have an app for Not Love. God sees beyond each person’s awfulness to each person’s needs. God loves them, as is. God is better at this than I am.

Anne Lamott has also noted that the difference between you and God is that God doesn’t think He’s you. All of which brings us to Jesus’ wisdom in today’s passage from the Sermon on the Mount. Apparently knowing us quite well, he speaks about the ways we judge others. We obviously make many judgments on any given day. We have to make decisions. I don’t think that’s what Jesus is talking about.

So what do you think he’s after in this passage? What does it say about us when we judge others? What does it say about those others whoever they may be, i.e., the people we judge? What does it say about what we think about God?

Take them in order. First, what does our propensity for judgment say about us? Have you ever heard someone say: Who am I to judge? It’s a little like someone saying: Bless your heart. There’s always more behind the statement. Who am I to judge, but let me tell you why I think that person is off track. Let me tell you why God should be upset with that person. There’s a gracious dose of hubris implicit in judging. It suggests we see ourselves doing God’s job for God. Here’s the problem: We don’t know as much as God knows. We don’t love as much as God loves.

Then what does it say about how we regard others? What does it mean if we find ourselves passing judgment on others? It can only mean that we think on some deeper level that we are better than those people, a particular temptation for religious folks. It can’t help but bring division. Jesus suggests that the spirit that inclines us to judge others will come back to bite us. The judgment we give will be the judgment we receive. If that’s the field we choose to play on, we will undoubtedly get smacked with judgment ourselves.

Truth be told, it seems that judging other people probably does little to change other people. Have you ever really “won” a political argument or made headway on social media? All that that kind of judgment does is damage community. Once we get into the mode of judging, it can be hard to know where to stop. Pretty soon, we’ve ended up judging everyone around us.

I recognize in myself a potent judgmental streak. I think about where that comes from. I can get really judgmental about the people and communities and ways of thinking that made me judgmental. Talk about a loop! As Anne Lamott prays: Help me not be such a pill.

Finally, what does our judgment say about how we regard God? It implies that God is not up to the task, that God can’t be trusted to be the ultimate judge, that maybe we know better than God does. It implies that we think that the unconditional forgiveness at the heart of the gospel is not really all that unconditional, that it depends on our own judgments, that we become final arbiter in some way.

So what do we do? We recognize we’re all in this together, that every one of us could be judged, that every one of us needs mercy. We each and all need to be given a break. On a regular basis, it helps to give thanks that mercy has come our way. It can be work, it can involve discipline to do that, but it’s worth the trip, even though it’s much more delicious to judge. But as noted, while I’m actually quite judgmental, I have a sense that if I could stop or curtail judgment, I would enjoy life more. I would enjoy relationships more. I would experience greater freedom. I’d be less of a pill.

Psalm 37 has been a help to me in moments when I feel inclined to judge. Portions of that psalm appear above. When I get on my high horse, it helps to turn it over to God, remembering the psalmist’s call, the warning to refrain from fretting about others. It leads only to evil.

-Jay Sidebotham


Thinking about joining the September 2022 RenewalWorks cohort?

Register by August 26th to join us.

RenewalWorks: Helping churches focus on spiritual growth

RenewalWorks is about re-orienting your parish around spiritual growth. And by spiritual growth – we mean growing in love of God and neighbor.
A cohort of churches is launching the process together this fall. If you’re interested in joining us for the September cohort, you can sign up now!
Learn more in our digital brochure.

Monday Matters (July 11, 2022)

3-1
Now is the acceptable time. Now is the day of salvation
-St. Paul, II Corinthians 6.2

 

In any weather, at any hour of the day or night, I have been anxious to improve the nick of time, and notch it on my stick too; to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and future, which is precisely the present moment; to toe that line.
-Henry David Thoreau

 

Tomorrow is tomorrow. Future cares have future cures. And we must mind today.
-Sophocles, Antigone

 

Every instant of our lives is essentially irreplaceable: you must know this in order to concentrate on life.
-Andre Gide

 

We never keep to the present. We recall the past; we anticipate the future as if we found it too slow in coming and were trying to hurry it up, or we recall the past as if to stay its too rapid flight. We are so unwise that we wander about in times that do not belong to us, and do not think of the only one that does; so vain that we dream of times that are not and blindly flee the only one that is. The fact is that the present usually hurts. We thrust it out of sight because it distresses us, and if we find it enjoyable, we are sorry to see it slip away. We try to give it the support of the future, and think how we are going to arrange things over which we have no control for a time we can never be sure of reaching.

 

Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so.
-Blaise Pascal, Pensees

 

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
-Annie Dillard

On this day the Lord has acted. We will rejoice and be glad in it.
-Psalm 118:24

Now

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6: 34

In a time in which change swirls around us, as institutions and norms we once thought immovable begin to shift, it’s comforting to know one thing that remains constant: 8am worship in Episcopal churches. From week to week, decade to decade, in some places generation to generation, same folks, same pews, same words.

I had my own taste of such immutability at my church in Chicago. An elderly parishioner attended our 8am service every week. Every week. If she wasn’t there, I knew she was ill and I would call her. Each and every Sunday, this 90 year old woman would greet me at the door after the service with these words: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift, which is why we call it the present.” I think she wanted to make sure I got the message. While it may have the scent of Hallmark card, I took it to heart, as reflective of the wisdom in today’s verse from the Sermon on the Mount.

It’s the wisdom of the recovery movement that encourages people to live a day at a time. It’s the wisdom of the practice of yoga, in which one steps on a mat and suspends reflection on the past or plans for the future, an exercise in being present.

It is not easy to live each day at a time. We find ourselves caught between the what-ifs of our past, and the what-ifs of our future. It takes faith to focus on what is set before us in the present, to see the ways we can be faithful in each and every moment. My brain (a.k.a., my monkey mind) is often hijacked by regrets over the past or anxiety about the future. That keeps me from attending to what is right in front of me. It takes faith to give thanks for the gift of each day, to see each day, even stormy days, as loaded with possibility, as a stage set for God’s work in me and among us, as the very next immediate concrete way to follow Jesus.

When I find it challenging, I think back on an ecumenical service I would lead on a regular basis at a nursing home. Some people could make their way to the chapel without assistance. Others arrived in wheelchairs. A few reclined on gurneys, unable to move their bodies. Some were alert and attentive to my insightful homilies. Others snored. While the liturgy was sort of generically protestant to accommodate the crowd, we always ended with this prayer from the Book of Common Prayer:

This is another day, O Lord. I know not what it will bring forth, but make me ready, Lord, for whatever it may be. If I am to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it patiently. And if I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly. Make these words more than words, and give me the Spirit of Jesus. Amen.

If those folks could pray for the day, taking it as it comes, a day at a time, I was inspired to do the same. I’m especially taken by the phrase that calls us to face each day gallantly. Monday, July 11. You are given this day. How will you live into it most fully, most faithfully, most joyfully, most courageously? How will you do so gallantly?

I close with wisdom from Annie Dillard. She reflects on writing, but what she has to say applies to the daily writing of the story of our lives:

One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.

Have a blessed day.

-Jay Sidebotham


Thinking about joining the September 2022 RenewalWorks cohort?

Register by August 26th to join us.

RenewalWorks: Helping churches focus on spiritual growth

RenewalWorks is about re-orienting your parish around spiritual growth. And by spiritual growth – we mean growing in love of God and neighbor.
A cohort of churches is launching the process together this fall. If you’re interested in joining us for the September cohort, you can sign up now!
Learn more in our digital brochure.

Monday Matters (July 4, 2022)

3-1

Selections from the readings chosen by the church for the observance of Independence Day:

You shall also love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. You shall fear the Lord your God; him alone you shall worship; to him you shall hold fast, and by his name you shall swear. He is your praise; he is your God, who has done for you these great and awesome things that your own eyes have seen.
-Deuteronomy 10:18

 

The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and of great kindness.
The Lord is loving to everyone and his compassion is over all his works.
-Psalm 145:8,9

 

All of these died in faith without having received the promises, but from a distance they saw and greeted them. They confessed that they were strangers and foreigners on the earth, for people who speak in this way make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of the land that they had left behind, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; indeed, he has prepared a city for them.
-Hebrews 11:16

 

Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.
-Matthew 5:43-45

Happy Fourth of July

Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For it is the gentiles who seek all these things, and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
-Matthew 6: 31-33

As we observe Independence Day, a celebration of our nation, we coincidentally arrive at the point in the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus asks us to think about the kingdom we seek. His teaching implies that there might be several kingdoms calling to us at once, grabbing hold of us, pulling us in different directions. Ever feel that way?

Apparently aware of these forces, Jesus tells his disciples to put first things. Keep the main thing the main thing. Seek first the kingdom. So I’m wondering for starters how the image of the kingdom of God strikes you. Is it something from another time and place? Does it help to speak about the Rule or Sovereignty or Reign of God? In my mind, we’re talking about a sphere of influence. That place where God’s graceful intention for all of creation is fulfilled. It’s the fulfillment of that line in the Lord’s Prayer that says “Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” That’s why the gospels seem to regard the Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of God as interchangeable.

I found myself thinking about the kingdoms calling to me these days. Where am I giving my heart? What sphere of influence holds sway over me? The empire of our work and vocation, our family relationships and commitments, our sense of achievement and worth? On this holiday, there is certainly the kingdom represented by our national identification, love expressed in patriotism. That can be a beautiful thing, a cause for celebration and gratitude on a day like today. There’s much to be thankful for this day.

But I’m still processing the images of insurrectionists carrying Christian images into the Capitol on January 6, self-proclaimed patriots leading prayers and toting Bibles as the Capitol was stormed. Russell Moore, president of the public policy arm of the Southern Baptist Convention, said that when he saw a “Jesus Saves” sign displayed near a gallows built by rioters, “I was enraged to a degree that I haven’t been enraged in memory. This is not only dangerous and unpatriotic but also blasphemous, presenting a picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ that isn’t the gospel of Jesus Christ and is instead its exact reverse.”

Years ago, Upton Sinclair said: When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross. Recent developments in our civic life make me realize the perilous persistence of the conflation of nationalism and American Christianity. It underscores the importance of saying Jesus is Lord instead of saying Caesar is Lord (Caesar or his modern counterparts).

And what kind of Lord is Jesus? He is that Lord who came to serve and not be served (Mark 10:45). He came to tear down dividing walls not build them (Ephesians 2:14). He came to stretch out arms of love so that in him there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female (Galatians 3:28).

With that in mind, how do we as people of faith keep first things first, especially on this holiday. Start, as always, with prayer. Independence Day is a liturgical feast, as we pray that God will bless America, as we give thanks for so many blessings. We also ask, in the words of a national hymn, that God will mend our every flaw. There’s ample room for that kind of healing work.

And then we consider the various kingdoms that lay claim on us, and seek to have them align with the Kingdom of God. By holy coincidence, readings chosen by our church for Independence Day (excerpts in the column on the left) give wonderful insight into what the Kingdom of God might look like here on earth. When partisanship heightens our emotions, we hear Jesus speak of a kingdom marked by love of enemies. When we may be led to believe that our kingdom needs to be defined by who is not in it, we hear from the Hebrew Scriptures that we are to welcome the stranger. When we feel disconnected from others, we hear a call to compassion. We read from the letter to the Hebrews about the great characters of the Old Testament. They longed for a better country. All of those are ways to seek God’s kingdom first. Jesus promises that if we do that, the rest will fall in place.

Perhaps the hope for our nation in troubled times is to seek first the kingdom of God. Let us pray in word and action for that. Maybe it’s the hope for each one of us as individuals as well. Take this week to think about what it means for you to put first things first.

-Jay Sidebotham


Thinking about joining the September 2022 RenewalWorks cohort?

Register by August 26th to join us.

RenewalWorks: Helping churches focus on spiritual growth

RenewalWorks is about re-orienting your parish around spiritual growth. And by spiritual growth – we mean growing in love of God and neighbor.
A cohort of churches is launching the process together this fall. If you’re interested in joining us for the September cohort, you can sign up now!
Learn more in our digital brochure.

Monday Matters (June 20, 2022)

3-1
Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely,
And long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion,
My constant friend is He;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.
I sing because I’m happy.
I sing because I’m free.
For His eye, his eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me

For the birds

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
-Matthew 6: 26

I went to seminary well past adolescence, but you wouldn’t know it based on my behavior. In the most somber theology classes, I’d sit in the back row and as I took notes, would often draw cartoons in the margins, usually about my professors. Pretty soon, I was not alone in the back row, as peers would look over my shoulder and giggle. They were so immature.

Another antic grew from the time I spent in the impressive library at Union Seminary. I came across a book called “Bird Walk Through the Bible.” It detailed all the times birds were mentioned in scripture. I was so taken by this book that I figured out a way to include it in every bibliography in every paper I wrote. I remembered that significant theological opus as I read today’s verse from the Sermon on the Mount. When teachers would ask me why I included the book in my bibliography, I would refer them to Matthew 6.26. Clearly, Jesus thought that birds have something to teach us. What might that be?

Let me take a stab at it. Jesus seems to notice that the birds of the air don’t exhibit the kind of anxiety that human beings do. They rise above it. That carefree quality apparently has something to do with them knowing their value. They trust that God is providing for them. Thus they can get on with their high-flying lives. Jesus wonders: Aren’t we at least as valuable as those birds? Jesus asks us to think about our own value, our own worth.

How do people speak about their value? For many folks, knowing their value has to do with work, with compensation or title or positive feedback. For some, value comes from the possessions or investments or the zip code in which they reside. Some people derive a sense of value from their families, their parents or their children. In his book, The Tyranny of Merit, Michael J. Sandel notes how in our culture value is equated with level of education. Many people who embrace all kinds of disenfranchised groups are unkindly dismissive of those without college educations. Education as a value.

Even when we screw up, we are given opportunity to think about our value. Brene Brown frames it in terms of the difference between shame and guilt. She says that shame is a focus on self. Guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is “I am bad” (i.e., of little value). Guilt is “I did something bad.” With guilt, there’s still a sense of value. We are redeemable.

Given all that, where do we as people of faith find value? What would it take for us to live with the carefree attitude of the birds of the air, in a time when the news can crank up anxiety in unprecedented ways? I suspect it comes with a sense of our identity as persons created in the image of God. It comes from our baptism, as we note in one of the baptismal promises that we are called to seek and serve Christ in all persons. That phrase “all persons” includes us. How do we embrace our value indicated by the belief that Christ is in each one of us? Another baptismal promise calls us to respect the dignity of every human being. How do we embrace that notion that each one of us is sealed with a God-given dignity?

Once we’ve wrapped our minds around that aspect of our value, we are then free to recognize the value in others. I’m aware in myself of the anxiety that can preclude a life lived in the freedom of the birds of the air. It comes from my need to establish myself as more valuable than somebody else. More valuable in the work place. More valuable in the family system. More valuable in the church (of all places).

Jesus says to let all that go and fly free, to remember who we are. A child of God. A friend of Jesus. A temple of the Holy Spirit. Maybe as much as we are called to remember who we are, we are called to remember whose we are. Again, in baptism, we say that the person being baptized is marked as Christ’s own forever. Now that’s value.

-Jay Sidebotham


Thinking about joining the September 2022 RenewalWorks cohort?

Register by August 26th to join us.

RenewalWorks: Helping churches focus on spiritual growth

RenewalWorks is about re-orienting your parish around spiritual growth. And by spiritual growth – we mean growing in love of God and neighbor.
A cohort of churches is launching the process together this fall. If you’re interested in joining us for the September cohort, you can sign up now!
Learn more in our digital brochure.

Monday Matters (May 2, 2022)

3-1
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
-Matthew 6:13 (from The Message, Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of the New Testament)

 

Keep us clear of temptation, and save us from evil.
– Matthew 6:13 (from J. B. Phillips paraphrase of the New Testament )

 

Save us from the time of trial, and deliver us from evil (from the Book of Common Prayer)

 

From Scott Peck’s book reflecting on the problem of evil. The book is entitled “People of the Lie”

 

Since the primary motive of the evil is disguise, one of the places evil people are most likely to be found is within the church. What better way to conceal one’s evil from oneself as well as from others than to be a deacon or some other highly visible form of Christian within our culture

 

Evil people hate the light because it reveals themselves to themselves. … They will destroy the light, the goodness, the love in order to avoid the pain of self-awareness. … evil is laziness carried to its ultimate, extraordinary extreme.

 

Evil then, for the moment, is the force, residing either inside or outside of human beings, that seeks to kill life or liveliness. And goodness is its opposite. Goodness is that which promotes life and liveliness.

Rescue us from evil

And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one.
-Matthew 6: 13

We say that praying shapes our believing. So what does this line of the Lord’s Prayer say about what we believe? Along with this line in the prayer which draws our attention to the reality of evil in our lives, I found myself thinking of the baptismal service, and what it says about what we believe about evil.

While baptisms in the Episcopal Church often include an adorable (perhaps clueless) infant in some fancy lace get up, safely doused with a tasteful and limited amount of water, and lots of silver vessels, the service also explores the topic of evil. That says to me that any serious consideration of discipleship, any serious attempt to put faith to work in the world calls for a realistic recognition that we contend with evil. In the liturgy for baptism (p. 302 of the Prayer Book), we renounce evil as it shows up in three particular ways.

First, we renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces of wickedness that rebel against God. Images of red, horned, tailed creatures bearing pitchforks aside, as we pray about evil, we recognize a spiritual power that comes to us as tempter. Jesus met that presence in the desert, tempting Jesus to worship something not worth worshipping. I’m told that Margaret Mead had a strong influence on shaping this baptismal service in the 1970’s. While some folks who worked on this service wanted to eliminate language about Satan (“Nobody believes that stuff anymore!”), she said that while some church folk might not believe in Satan, anthropologists do. She argued (successfully) for this language to be preserved in the service. My own take: we dismiss this kind of spiritual force at our own peril.

Second, we renounce the evil powers of this world which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God. I read that as evil in the social and political sphere. G.K. Chesterton said that the doctrine of original sin is one of the few Catholic beliefs that can be confirmed by each day’s headlines. He wrote: “The Church’s doctrine of original sin is the only part of Catholic theology which can be really proved.” Reinhold Niebuhr, a Protestant, called original sin “empirically verifiable.” News of late confirms those points as we see those powers at play this morning in Mariupol for sure. But we don’t have to look that far. In recent history, from my point of view, that kind of power showed up when leaders decided to separate children from their parents on the southern border, without bothering to keep track of either parents or kids. I see those powers at work in our nation’s history of slavery and the genocide of indigenous people. It surfaces in forces of materialism, racism, any number of isms. Where do you see evil surfacing in our common life?

And here’s the kicker, the truly annoying part. As Pogo said: We have seen the enemy and the enemy is us. The third renunciation speaks of sinful desires that draw us from the love of God. We recognize evil in each of our hearts from which we need to be delivered. It’s that coldness of heart, the schadenfreude that feels good when something bad happens to someone else, like smiling while driving on an interstate when cars are stuck in miles long traffic on the road headed in the opposite direction. It’s that hubris that causes us to play God, when we need to tap into the wisdom of Anne Lamott who told her readers: The difference between you and God is that God doesn’t think He’s you. I thank God that my inner most thoughts are not projected on a screen. It would be ugly to have my all that on full display. Scott Peck put it this way: The major threats to our survival no longer stem from nature without but from our own human nature within. It is our carelessness, our hostilities, our selfishness and pride and willful ignorance that endanger the world.

So we pray for help, knowing that Jesus went through his own time of trial. We pray knowing we can’t face this on our own. We ask for help, maybe echoing the words of the psalmist: Create in me a clean heart. We pray believing that we have not been left alone in the struggle. What a friend we have in Jesus, who knows our every weakness, so we take it to the Lord in prayer. And we pray in the Easter season rejoicing in the conviction that redemption happens. We pray believing that love wins. May God grant us grace to let all those prayers guide us in this coming week.

-Jay Sidebotham


Thinking about joining the September 2022 RenewalWorks cohort?

Register by August 26th to join us.

RenewalWorks: Helping churches focus on spiritual growth

RenewalWorks is about re-orienting your parish around spiritual growth. And by spiritual growth – we mean growing in love of God and neighbor.
A cohort of churches is launching the process together this fall. If you’re interested in joining us for the September cohort, you can sign up now!
Learn more in our digital brochure.

Monday Matters (April 4, 2022)

3-1
Your assignment, should you accept:

 

Write a few sentences about what it means to you that God is addressed in prayer as a parent.

 

Write a few sentences about how you envision heaven. A city in the clouds? A frame of mind? An eternal weekend with relatives you don’t particularly like? A never-ending church service? The ultimate place of healing of relationships?

 

Write a few sentences about how you understand what it means to hallow something.

 

Write a few sentences about your hopes for a world in which God’s name would be hallowed.

 

If you take up this assignment (all may, none must, some should), no need to show it to anyone. But that might be exactly what you want to do. It may be a moment of accountability that will help you grow in spirit, and help you in your observation of Holy Week, and help somebody else.

 

So prayer is our sometimes real selves trying to communicate with the Real, with Truth, with the Light. It is us reaching out to be heard, hoping to be found by a light and warmth in the world, instead of darkness and cold. Even mushrooms respond to light – I suppose they blink their mushroomy eyes, like the rest of us.

Homework

Pray then in this way: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
-Matthew 6: 9

I have a friend who told me he would only come to my bible study if there was no homework. He probably won’t like this Monday Matters.

After one of her first sermons in a new church, a friend got a call from a parishioner to offer feedback on her sermon. The caller commended the preacher, but said that her frequent references to Jesus in her sermon was not the way they talked in that church. Let that sink in.

I was reminded that in our work with congregations, we find that many Episcopalians define themselves in terms of what they are not, and more to the point, who they are not. As we discuss questions of faith, they will often tell me that that is not how Episcopalians speak. When that happens, one of our wise counselors tells folks: “If that’s not your language, what is your language?”

We’ve been reading Jesus’ teaching about prayer. It could be easy to focus on the things we’re not supposed to do in prayer, e.g., make it showy, make it a public spectacle, go on and on. As we continue in reflection on the Sermon on the Mount this morning, we find that Jesus gets very specific about how we should pray. He offers what we have come to know as the Lord’s Prayer, a prayer included in every liturgy in the Book of Common Prayer.

In Luke’s gospel, the Lord’s Prayer is offered in response to the disciples’ request that Jesus teach them to pray. The disciples ask for a prayer, noting that John the Baptist had given his disciples a prayer. (Luke 11.1) It seems like that prayer given to those disciples was a mark of their identity, a sign of who they followed, a sense of who they were. There are other prayers that do that kind of thing. The Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Neibuhr, provides a sense of identity for the recovery movement. The prayer attributed to St. Francis (“Make me an instrument of your peace…”) provides identity to any number of communities. Is there a prayer that reflects your identity?

With that question in mind, let’s dive into the Lord’s Prayer, bit by bit.

Our Father: The prayer begins by noting who we are talking to. The prayer implies at the outset that this is about relationship, a relationship of a particular kind. It is not the prayer of king and subject, slave and master, employee and boss, judge and defendant. It’s the personal relationship of parent and child. And while in our broken world the parent-child relationship is not always marked by love and care, can we presume that Jesus intended the most loving, gracious relationship, maybe like the father in the parable of the prodigal son?

In heaven: It’s a prayer that speaks of location, offered to a Father in heaven. That says to me that heaven is not some far off place, but much more accessible than we might think. I have a feeling we’ll talk more about how we understand heaven next week.

Hallowed be thy name: On one level, it’s a declarative statement, a way of acknowledging God’s holiness, God’s greatness. We can translate the word hallowed as set apart as sacred, or consecrated. When I studied at Union Seminary, I learned of an Old Testament professor so deeply honored by students that they took off their shoes and left them in the hallway outside the lecture hall to honor this holy man. How much more might we honor the God of creation?

(As something of an aside, I heard of a child in one of our parishes who thought the prayer began: Our Father which art in heaven, how did you know my name? Maybe that child really knew something about the mystery that calls us to this hallowing.)

There’s another way to read this prayer to hallow God’s name. It’s an expression of hope, that God’s name would be increasingly hallowed in a world where that is not the case. I can’t help but think that if God’s name were hallowed among all people, however that name is understood, that our world would be in a better place. That is not necessarily a prayer for people to become religious, because it seems that some of the most religious people are the ones who miss the boat, in Jesus’ estimation. It’s simply a prayer that all people will recognize that our common life unfolds in the presence of a power greater than ourselves, a power whose character is love.

Take this upcoming week as a chance to get ready for Holy Week. Reflect on your own relationship to God, your vision of heaven, your understanding of hallowing God’s name, what it would mean for our global community. If you feel so inclined, take on the homework assignment in the column on the left as a way to prepare for this important week in our common life.

-Jay Sidebotham

Thinking about joining the September 2022 RenewalWorks cohort?

Register by August 26th to join us.

RenewalWorks: Helping churches focus on spiritual growth

RenewalWorks is about re-orienting your parish around spiritual growth. And by spiritual growth – we mean growing in love of God and neighbor.
A cohort of churches is launching the process together this fall. If you’re interested in joining us for the September cohort, you can sign up now!
Learn more in our digital brochure.

Monday Matters: March 28, 2022

3-1

 

Prayer is taking a chance that against all odds and past history, we are loved and chosen, and do not have to get it together before we show up.

 

Prayer is not about saying, ‘Oh, I think I’m going to pray now.’ Or, ‘Oh, I see I’ve made a notation here to pray at 2:15.’ It’s about getting outside of your own self and hooking into something greater than that very, very limited part of our experience here — the ticker tape of thoughts and solutions, and trying to figure out who to blame. …
My belief is that when you’re telling the truth, you’re close to God. If you say to God, “I am exhausted and depressed beyond words, and I don’t like You at all right now, and I recoil from most people who believe in You,” that might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said. If you told me you had said to God, “It is all hopeless, and I don’t have a clue if You exist, but I could use a hand,” it would almost bring tears to my eyes, tears of pride in you, for the courage it takes to get real-really real. It would make me want to sit next to you at the dinner table.

 

So prayer is our sometimes real selves trying to communicate with the Real, with Truth, with the Light. It is us reaching out to be heard, hoping to be found by a light and warmth in the world, instead of darkness and cold. Even mushrooms respond to light – I suppose they blink their mushroomy eyes, like the rest of us.

Empty phrases

When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
-Matthew 6: 7,8

In recent readings of Morning Prayer, a few words that I’ve read many times hit me like I’d never heard them before. Does that every happen to you? We begin the confession by saying: Most merciful God. I got to thinking about what it means to begin that liturgy, to begin my day, to live each day in the awareness of the presence of a merciful God. For much of the time, I’m a functional atheist, imagining I can bring God into the picture when I want, when needed. The rest of the time, I’ll run things, thank you very much.

My prayer life exhibits that interest in being in control. (Hear the gospel according to Anne Lamott: What’s the difference between you and God? God never thinks he’s you.) We sometimes approach prayer as filibuster, talking endlessly, repeating words somewhat mindlessly, not doing a lot of listening, thinking God will pay attention to us because we talk a lot or craft the language well. We sometimes approach prayer as shopping list, putting in our order like Doordash, waiting to have wishes fulfilled. God as valet. We sometimes approach prayer with magical thinking, a celestial Aladin’s lamp. Often we end up disappointed when wishes are not fulfilled. All of which is to say that there lots of ways for our prayers to be empty phrases.

Jesus spent a fair amount of time praying. He also spent a fair amount of time teaching about prayer, presumably because we need it. He was mindful that there are some ways to pray that are less edifying, some ways that we pray that are more about us than anything else, resulting again in prayers filled with empty phrases.

So how can we come to greater fullness, less emptiness in our prayers?

We can begin by keeping it simple, confident that we actually don’t have to clue God in to what’s going on. In my work in the church, people often feel incapable or unqualified to pray in front of others. That’s why clergy get called on to offer the prayer in a group setting. I found one simple way to get around that. It’s about filling in the blanks:

I thank God that….

I ask God that…

If you’re feeling stuck in your prayer life, you might want to see if this simple approach helps. Anybody can do it.

The call to simplicity in prayer is what I love about Anne Lamott’s description of what it means to pray. Echoing Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount, she says you don’t need tons of words. In fact, you only need three: thanks, help and wow.

Thanks: Meister Eckhardt said that “if the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” Expressions of thanks in all circumstances place us in a frame of mind where we recognize God’s gracious activity in our lives, in our world. What are you thankful for this morning?

Help: It’s a matter of recognizing our absolute dependence, which is how Paul Tillich described faith. It’s the recognition that we can’t do it on our own, that our souls are restless until they find their rest in God. Where do you need help today?

Wow: We often fail to notice miracles around us. Here’s Anne Lamott’s take on it: “It’s sort of like when the Wizard of Oz — when Dorothy lands in Oz and the movie goes from black and white to color, and it’s like having a new pair of glasses, and you say, ‘Wow!’ So where’s the wow factor for you this Monday?

It can really be quite simple, however we pray. Our hearts can be moved into deeper relationship with God in silence, through music, with polished collects of the Prayer Book, with fumbling syntax, with sighs too deep for words, with tears as we consider the brokenness of our world. It’s all offered in the confidence, the amazing grace that a relationship with God is accessible and worth pursuing, and that God knows what we need before we ask. A bit more from Ms. Lamott: “If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are so ruined, and so loved, and in charge of so little.”

God aims to provide what we need, as loving parent. Let’s ditch empty phrases and the filibuster and the wish lists and aim to offer prayers with fullness and simplicity. And love.

-Jay Sidebotham

Thinking about joining the September 2022 RenewalWorks cohort?

Register by August 26th to join us.

RenewalWorks: Helping churches focus on spiritual growth

RenewalWorks is about re-orienting your parish around spiritual growth. And by spiritual growth – we mean growing in love of God and neighbor.
A cohort of churches is launching the process together this fall. If you’re interested in joining us for the September cohort, you can sign up now!
Learn more in our digital brochure.

Monday Matters: March 21, 2022

3-1

And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for fifteen minutes of fame! Do you think God sits in a box seat? Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.   

          Matthew 6:5-6 (The Message)

 

The infallible test of spiritual integrity, Jesus says, is your private prayer life. Many people will pray when they are required by cultural or social circumstances. Those with a genuinely lived relationship with God, however, will inwardly want to pray and therefore will pray even though nothing on the outside is pressing them to do so. They pursue it even during times of spiritual dryness, when there is no social or experiential payoff.
Timothy Keller

Do good

And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
-Matthew 6:5-6

Those of a certain age may remember a scene from “Sound of Music” when the Von Trapp children have been hazing the new governess, Maria (Julie Andrews) on her first day. They were so mean. When they all sit down for dinner, Maria is invited to say grace, a prayer during which she references the unusual ways she has been welcomed into the household. One by one, the children dissolve into tears of shame. A classic example of what I’ve heard described as horizontal prayers.

Such prayers sound something like this: “Lord, I pray that my sibling will stop being such a jerk.” “Lord, I pray that this particular vestry member will have the humility to see how ill-informed his opinion is.” “Lord, I pray that all of us around this dinner table will come to appreciate the Christian point of view on (name the social issue).” You get the idea. It seems that according to Jesus, people using prayer (or any religious practice) in this way is one mark of hypocrisy, masking our own agenda behind piety, bless their hearts.

These days, I hear all kinds of reasons why folks don’t go to church, why there has been a dramatic increase in the number of nones (no religious affiliation) and dones (those who have bailed). I can see reasons why organized religion loses appeal.

Presiding Bishop Michael Curry, recently commissioned a survey to explore what people think about Jesus. It’s called the “Jesus in America” study. He said of this study: “We are encouraged that the research shows Americans still find Jesus compelling (editorial comment: phew!) but we also see that the behavior of many of his followers is a problem, and it’s not just certain Christians. It’s all Christians.”

The study included questions about what people think about the church. Christian respondents described Christians as giving, compassionate, loving, and respectful. Non-Christians had a different perspective. The characteristics they identified were judgmental, self-righteous, arrogant and, you guessed it, hypocritical. This squares with one of the most common reasons people tell me they have given up on church. They say that they don’t go to church because it’s just filled with hypocrites. To which I respond: “Guilty as charged.”

Jesus spent a lot of time contending with hypocrites. A lot of his most charged exchanges were with really religious people. That should give pause to those of us who are clergy, among others. As a result, the really religious people of Jesus’ day were among those who worked hardest to get rid of him.

As I try to understand and embrace his teaching, I sense his fundamental desire for people to have a deep and authentic relationship with God, a relationship that would be sustaining and joyful. I think he recognized that one of the things that get in the way is worrying about how we come off, how we appear, what other people think of us. I’m not sure it’s possible for us to avoid that.

But perhaps it’s possible if we try his experiment, taking our prayers to some quiet place where we get to realize that prayer is simply a conversation between us and God (an amazing, miraculous privilege when you think about it). It’s similar to the experiment we explored last week, giving alms/doing good in secret, in privacy, so we can be liberated from public opinion, so we can be liberated from the seductive power of our own ego. (After all, we can think of ego as an acronym: edging God out.)

All of it is a way for us to come to a deeper relationship with God, which is key not only to love of God, but also key to love of neighbor, and ultimately key to love of self. Grab some quiet prayer time this week. See what happens.

-Jay Sidebotham

RenewalWorks: Connect is an online conversation series presented by RenewalWorks to hear from thought-leaders exploring ways to continue the work of spiritual growth. These discussions are especially helpful for those who have participated in RenewalWorks, but anyone interested in cultivating spiritual growth is encouraged to join.

A Story of Transformation
Thursday, March 24th, 7-8pm EDT | Zoom

We hope you will join us to hear how one church’s focus on spiritual growth has transformed its congregation. 

We invite you to an intimate discussion with Rev. Greg Bezilla of Holy Trinity Church in New Jersey, on how RenewalWorks focused his leadership and the parish on deepening their love of God and neighbor. He will discuss what concerns initially encouraged him to embark on RenewalWorks in 2018 and how the church worked to implement the RenewalWorks’ Leadership Team recommendations over the subsequent 3 years. In Fall 2021, Holy Trinity returned to RenewalWorks as a way to measure those efforts. Their results were indeed different and included growth in many important measures.

We are excited to share an interview with this church’s leadership discussing their inspiring journey of rejuvenation. Please join us.

We hope you can join us for this Zoom gathering. Click here to sign up for RW: Connect emails and you will receive the link to join the webinar the day before.

Monday Matters (February 28, 2022)

3-1
In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.
-Matthew 5:48 as rendered in The Message

 

Therefore, just as your heavenly Father is complete in showing love to everyone, so also you must be complete.
Matthew 5:48 as rendered in the Common English Bible

 

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
I John 1:8

 

On this sacred path of radical acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.
-Tara Brach

Perfection

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
-Matthew 5:48

Once again, in response to Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount, I’m looking for wiggle room. Be perfect? The older I get, the more elusive that seems.

Here’s how I begin to make sense of it. There’s a fundamental difference between this call to be perfect and the drive for perfectionism. In religious circles, as parents, as professionals, there’s a drive to get everything right. That leads to one of two results. Either we get bummed out at inevitable shortcomings or we succumb to pride that imagines God is lucky to have us on the team. Neither are particularly attractive. Or edifying.

The Greek word used in this verse for perfect is transliterated as teleios. Translations of that word include the English word “perfect.” Alongside that, the word suggests being complete, whole, full grown, mature. In John’s gospel, in Jesus’ prayer for disciples, the word is used to reflect his request that his disciples be made completely one (John 17:23). In Luke’s gospel, the word is meant to suggest work that is finished or fulfilled (Luke 13:32). I’m reminded of how the idea of salvation expressed in scripture can be seen as a move toward wholeness.

It’s hard to read the whole Bible and conclude that Jesus expects us to be perfect in terms of getting it right all the time, in terms of never sinning. He was clear-eyed about human frailty. He was surrounded by the Keystone Cops disciples who demonstrated that frailty in oh so many ways. But he still called them to wholeness, toward spiritual maturity, growth toward the integrated oneness reflected in the character of God.

There are plenty of voices showing us the perils of perfectionism. In her book on writing entitled Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott points out those perils: “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life…I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.”

Brené Brown, in a book called The Gift of Imperfection, writes: “Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”

But as Jesus talks to disciples in the Sermon on the Mount, as we eavesdrop on that conversation, we are meant to take it to heart, to try to put it to work in our lives. As we begin the season of Lent, a season of course-correction enlightened by self-examination, what are ways we can do that? What are ways we can move toward wholeness?

We begin by identifying those places where we don’t feel whole. Those are gaps where the light can shine through. Once we’ve got some insight into those growth opportunities, we can take steps toward wholeness, with healthy striving. That comes with practice, which suggests not only putting things into action. It also suggests that we get better, we grow, we mature, we move toward wholeness. In my own journey, those practices include reflection on scripture, quiet time in prayer, especially expressions of gratitude, service to those in need, and to the best of my ability, forgiveness. I’m wondering what practices have helped you grow in this way.

I love the bumper sticker: PBPGINFWMY. Please be patient. God is not finished with me yet. As we journey towards wholeness, towards salvation, may we find grace in the belief that God is with us. God is at work in us. Perhaps in spite of us. But we are not alone in it.

-Jay Sidebotham

 


Ready to begin your RenewalWorks journey?
Illustration

Join the September 2022 cohort of congregations on the journey of discipleship.

A lawyer approached Jesus, putting him to the test with this question: “Which is the greatest commandment?” Jesus’ response was simple, if not easy. He said it was about love of God (with all your heart and soul and mind) and love of neighbor as self.

That singular emphasis on love of God and neighbor provides the foundation for RenewalWorks, a ministry that focuses on spiritual growth by deepening love of God and neighbor in the lives of congregations, in the lives of ministries that animate those congregations, and in the lives of the individuals who bring life to those ministries.

When the details of life press in, parishes, like individuals, can inadvertently move away from this singular, simple focus on discipleship to the more mundane but necessary actions of running a church. RenewalWorks brings the focus back to Jesus’ response to the lawyer.

Get Started

Monday Matters (January 31, 2022)

3-1
Jesus said: “And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.
-Matthew 5:33-37, from THE MESSAGE, a paraphrase of the New Testament by Eugene Peterson

 

Above all, my beloved, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “Yes” be yes and your “No” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.
-James 5:21

 

For in him (Christ) every one of God’s promises is a “Yes.” For this reason it is through him that we say the “Amen,” to the glory of God.
-II Corinthians 1:20

What we say

Jesus said: “Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.

– Matthew 5:33-37

At the church I attended as a kid, there was a member of the parish, a church lady who in my recollection was a self-appointed spiritual guide, pious in a particularly unattractive way. She and my mother were chatting one day at coffee hour, and another woman approached. This woman shared some challenges going on in her life. The church lady responded: “You know, I pray for you every day.” This woman left. The church lady turned to my mother and said: “Who was that woman?”

In my vocation as church cartoonist, I’ve done a series about what people say to the preacher at the door as they leave church. The theme: What they say. What they mean. After my preaching, I’ve had people say: “Nice chat.” I take it to mean “I didn’t pay all that much attention.” “I stuck with you the whole time” means “You’re usually either boring or hard to follow.” When they say, “You’re getting much better as a preacher” means “You don’t stink as much as you used to.” “Interesting interpretation” means “Where did you come up with that one? Where did you go to seminary?” Some years ago, on a Sunday when I preached on a difficult passage, a visiting seminarian told me “Nice try.” That was only 15 years ago. I’ve worked through it. Really, I have.

You get the idea. Church folks don’t always say what they mean, bless their hearts. Let me know how you’ve heard or said such things.

As we move through the Sermon on the Mount, exploring Jesus’ take on traditions, after reading about murder and adultery, we come to a passage about oaths and vows. A lot has been written about what he meant, whether he had specific practices in mind. I’m not sure, because there is a lot of talk throughout scripture about the importance of taking vows and oaths.

Reflection on this passage led me to think about the ways we speak. When we recite the confession, we admit falling short in thought, word, and deed. Today’s bit of teaching from Jesus asks us to focus on how that happens with our words. Our words say a fair amount about how we relate to God and how we relate to each other.

In terms of how we relate to God, Jesus warns about swearing by heaven, etc. It strikes me that he’s addressing an attempt by human folk to control God, which does not rise to the level of proper reverence for the holy presence. It’s magical thinking, with a dose of hubris, implying that we can invoke God’s activity in a controlling way.

I’m always moved by interaction with Jewish brothers and sisters who resist even writing the name G-d. Compare and contrast to the practice of Jesus as buddy, God as co-pilot. Is our speech, especially in worship, guided by the realization that every aspect of our lives unfolds before the creator who knows us more intimately than we know ourselves? Do we take the Lord’s name in vain, tagging on pious sentiments as if they were a seal of approval, or a secret password? Are we functional atheists, never acknowledging that every moment of our lives unfolds before the presence of the creator? Do words of the liturgy become routine, suggesting boredom with it all, perhaps the most egregious offense?

In terms of how we relate to each other, are we authentic in what we say? The letter to the Ephesians speaks of speaking the truth in love. Like the church lady, who in cluelessness revealed hypocrisy, we may fall into the trap of a smoke screen of pious talk, which is why I like Eugene Peterson’s rendering of Jesus’ teaching, which I’ve reprinted above.

Join me this week in thinking about how we use our words, how we speak to God (i.e., pray), how we speak of God, how we speak with each other, those close to us, those who work with us, those in church with us. Is our speech marked by humility and authenticity? Can we say what we mean, letting our yes be yes? Join me in the challenge of seeing how this particular piece of the Sermon on the Mount serves as our guide to a more Christ-like way of speaking, a more Christ-like way of being.

-Jay Sidebotham

Good Book Club to start 2022 with Exodus

Start the new year with a renewed spiritual practice of reading God’s Word. Forward Movement, with support from partners from around the Episcopal Church and Anglican Communion, will celebrate the time of Epiphany with a new round of the Good Book Club by reading the first half of the Book of Exodus.

Exodus recounts the journey of the Israelites from slavery to freedom. We hear the great stories of Moses, from his discovery by Pharaoh’s daughter on the bank of the river to the burning bush to his presentation of the Ten Commandments. Along the way, we encounter God’s covenant and explore the grand theme of redemption.

This year, we have a bonus time of scripture engagement: the Good Book Club will dive into the first twenty chapters of Exodus from Epiphany, January 6, to Shrove Tuesday, March 1. For those who want to keep reading, we’ll offer a daily reading guide and an overview of the second half of Exodus. That reading period will conclude on Easter.

The full schedule, including the list of daily readings is available at www.goodbookclub.org.

Sign up to receive updates on Exodus.

Joining the Good Book Club is easy: Open your Bible and start reading!