Monthly Archives: July 2015

Monday Matters (July 27th, 2015)

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Aloha

Six months ago, my friend David, one of the finest parish priests I know, called me to say that he was going on a summer pilgrimage. He asked if I could possibly see my way to take his church in Hawaii for two weeks. I said: Let me think about it. Yes. So here I am doing the Lord’s work, a bit sheepish about this hardship duty. The cost of discipleship indeed.

It’s been a gift, a chance to be a learner about a part of the world I’ve never visited. The beauty is overwhelming. And there is a spirit among the people here, captured in the word “Aloha”. For this east coast boy, my associations with the word have probably had more to do with Bette Midler and Hawaii Five-O. I took it lightly. But I’ve been interested to hear about its deeper significance. Folk etymology indicates that it’s a compound word. “Alo” suggests presence, front, face or share. “Ha” means breath of life or essence of life. I’ve been told that the traditional greeting was to have foreheads meet so that breath could be shared.

I’ve learned about another word: “Haole”. That’s folks like me. Professor Fred Beckley describes it this way: “The white people came to be known as ha-ole (without breath) because when they said their prayers, they did not breathe three times as was customary in ancient Hawaii.” One person sharpened the narrative. He said that missionaries who came to bring good news to the islanders refused the ritual of greeting one another by sharing breath, touching foreheads. To them, the tradition was pagan, or perhaps too personal for reserved Protestants (a.k.a., the frozen chosen). I’m no authority. I have no idea if any of this is true. But if it’s not, it ought to be, because it indicates the truth that all faith traditions see the breath of life as key. It’s true of our tradition, as God breathed into a pile of dirt and created Adam, as Jesus breathed on the disciples and created the church.

It’s also a caution to missionaries. How much did missionaries miss? How many did they drive away by a refusal to recognize the truth they already shared? The insistence that the Hawaiians become like them, the confusion of conversion and conformity, a pattern repeated whenever mission work has been done, belies the spirit of Jesus. The Episcopal Church, coming out of its General Convention with a new and dynamic Presiding Bishop has a renewed focus on its missionary call. How can we reclaim and redeem that word, noting that we are indeed sent into the world to share good news, and to be of service? It begins with knowing what God is already up to in the neighborhood. It involves fulfillment of promises made in baptism to respect the dignity of every human being. The spirit of Aloha seems tied to the spirit of namaste, ubuntu, salaam, shalom, peace. It calls us to move outside our comfort zone to meet people where they are, to recognize God’s presence already there.

This is why I am a fan of my friend, David. He teaches me and models for me what it means to lead a parish. Shortly after he moved here, he and his partner Bobby joined the local canoeing club (The Hawaiian canoes with six folks paddling together, with that outrigger for balance.) They just showed up. Before long, he helped a member of that club deal with grief of loss of a parent. This couple joined the church, after being away from religion for 40 years. Before long, David was out on the water, presiding at a burial at sea. And when their canoe tipped and they all went in the water, a story emerged, a bond created. The ministry has grown because, with humility and humor, he began by exploring what God was up to in this neighborhood, new to him.

Too often, Christian folk are without breath, without spirit, circling the wagons, thinking inside the box, insisting on their own way, withholding deeper connection. That’s not the missionary way. This Monday, think about “aloha”. How can you share the breath of life?

– Jay Sidebotham

Breathe on me,
Breath of God,
fill me with life anew,
that I may love what thou dost love,
and do what thou wouldst do.

Breathe on me,
Breath of God,
until my heart is pure,
until with thee I will one will,
to do and to endure.

Breathe on me,
Breath of God,
till I am wholly thine,
till all this earthly part of me
glows with thy fire divine.

Breathe on me,
Breath of God,
so shall I never die,
but live with thee the perfect life
of thine eternity.

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Jay SidebothamContact:

Rev. Jay Sidebotham
jsidebotham@renewalworks.org
RenewalWorks is a ministry of Forward Movement.
www.renewalworks.org

Monday Matters (July 20th, 2015)

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The Honor Challenge

I don’t do as many weddings as in days past. So when I officiated this weekend at the wedding of a wonderful young couple, it gave me a chance to reflect anew on the liturgy for the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage, found in the Book of Common Prayer. It renewed my conviction that perhaps the most important word in this service, capturing the commitment to relationship conveyed in covenant, is the word “honor”.  When I meet with couples in preparation for their wedding (a milestone in the longer and sometimes arduous journey of marriage), I often suggest that they hold that word “honor” at the heart of their life together. I encourage them to put that word “honor” in a place of prominence: on the visor in their car, beside the door so they see it when they leave the house, over the bathroom mirror. Make it a screen saver. It’s an old-fashioned word, and like many of the powerful words of our  tradition, it has been hijacked by a culture which talks about honoring credit cards, coupons or frequent flyer miles. We need to reclaim the word. At its heart, it’s about quality of relationship. At its heart, it’s about showing and sharing love.

In the marriage liturgy, the word “honor” appears when rings are exchanged. The couple says to each other: “With all that I am and with all that I have, I honor you.” What does it mean to honor another person in this remarkable way, especially in the context of a marriage? My best guess is that it means seeking the best for that person, getting beyond ego-centric perspective which persistently asks: What’s in it for me? Have I been treated fairly? It’s a commitment not to a set of rules, guidelines, principles, dogmas, suggestions, commandments. It’s a commitment to a person. One wise priest in a wedding homily charged the couple to be Jesus for each other. That’s one way to talk about honor, as we think of Jesus as the one we follow, Jesus who came not to be served but to serve.

This call to honor is not only applied to married life. The 12th chapter of Romans is one of my favorite passages in the New Testament. It articulates the ways that we respond to God’s grace in relationship with others. I call it the so-what factor. In that chapter, Paul gets downright competitive about all this. As 1st century spiritual coach, he says, among other things: “Outdo one another in showing honor.” I call it the honor challenge.

What does that honor challenge look like for you this Monday morning? The promises we make in baptism help us start. We promise to seek Christ in all persons, not just those we like or agree with. Did you notice the word “all”? We promise to respect the dignity of every human being, not just those who we think have earned respect. Did you notice the word “every”? I don’t know about you, but I have spent way too much time in life focusing on how much I have been honored (or not). I have spent way too much time fretting about ways I have been dishonored, dissed, disregarded, treasuring resentments like trophies on a shelf. The disciple of Jesus is called to let that go, to think creatively about how in community, we can outdo one another in showing honor. The disciples of Jesus is called to think about how he or she can be of service.

Take the honor challenge today. Who is invisible in your day? Perhaps it’s people who offer service: the barista trying to keep up with a long line of cranky, Monday morning latte demanders. Perhaps it’s the person behind the ticket counter being blamed because the plane is late. Honor them. Perhaps it’s people you resent or people who resent you, someone withholding forgiveness, someone you can’t forgive. Honor them. Maybe it’s people whose religious or political ideas you think are idiotic. Maybe it’s people closest to you: a life partner, a parent, a child, a colleague, someone you take for granted. How long has it been since you used your imagination to consider ways to honor them, in word and deed? Seek the best for those you meet today. Honor them.

– Jay Sidebotham

From Romans 12:

 I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgement…

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with brotherly affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Never flag in  zeal, be aglow with the Spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in your hope, be patient with tribulation, be constant in prayer. 

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Jay SidebothamContact:

Rev. Jay Sidebotham
jsidebotham@renewalworks.org
RenewalWorks is a ministry of Forward Movement.
www.renewalworks.org

Monday Matters (July 14th, 2015)

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Monday, July 13, 2015

A number of years ago, Krista Tippett interviewed Archbishop Desmond Tutu. In the course of that conversation, he said: I think… that we have very gravely underestimated the damage that apartheid inflicted on all of us. You know, the damage to our psyches, the damage that has made – I mean, it shocked me. I went to Nigeria when I was working for the World Council of Churches, and I was due to fly to Jos. And so I go to Lagos airport and I get onto the plane and the two pilots in the cockpit are both black. And whee, I just grew inches. You know, it was fantastic because we had been told that blacks can’t do this….And we have a smooth takeoff and then we hit the mother and father of turbulence. I mean, it was quite awful, scary. Do you know, I can’t believe it but the first thought that came to my mind was, “Hey, there’s no white men in that cockpit. Are those blacks going to be able to make it?”And of course, they obviously made it – here I am. But the thing is, I had not known that I was damaged to the extent of thinking that somehow actually what those white people who had kept drumming into us in South Africa about our being inferior, about our being incapable, it had lodged some way in me.

Recent events in Charleston, the tragic loss of life in a bible study/prayer meeting of all places, stunning courtroom expressions of forgiveness by those most deeply injured, a subsequent national conversation about the flag have brought to mind the ways we are all actors in this drama about race. It has occurred to me that it is a matter for Monday matters, which focuses on the ways we put faith to work in the world. If spiritual growth is about greater love of God and neighbor, Lord knows we have growth opportunities.

I confess that a part of me has looked at the debate over the Confederate flag with a measure of smugness, perhaps self-righteousness. Will those people finally get it right? I would never have done that. That’s when I remembered this confession of Desmond Tutu, as he notes the insidious, pervasive effects of racism which infect us all: “It has lodged some way in me.” I recalled leaders of the church of my childhood who knew the Bible better than I ever will whose racist remarks are seared in my memory. I remember my own child, only a couple years old, who asked if you had to be black to be a garbage man. He liked the truck and in the affluent New England town in which we lived, the only time he saw black people was when the truck came by. I think of the elderly, progressive Episcopalian who confessed in 2008 that she simply couldn’t imagine an African American first lady.

In a related dynamic, I think of our beloved Prayer Book which includes the prayer of St. John of Chrysostom. Every time I hear that prayer in the Daily Office, it is tainted for me by the hateful anti-Semitism that was part of St. John’s world view. Martin Luther shaped my thinking about faith and grace in many ways, yet there was little grace in the ways he spoke about Jewish brothers and sisters. It was Martin Luther who noted that we are saints and sinners at the same time. He got that right, though I doubt it’s a 50/50 split. I think of my own attitudes, too shameful to describe in detail in this email, judgmental thoughts that cross my mind. Unattractive, dismissive, even hateful thoughts that seemingly instinctively to surface, aimed at people of different race, class, gender, lifestyle, people of different origin or opinion or political affiliation. Bless you if you live free from these thoughts. Tell me how you got that way.

I don’t pretend to understand fully what original sin means, or how it happens. I’m not convinced traditional presentations of the doctrine have it right. But I do believe we are all caught in powers greater than ourselves, powers that keep us from seeing Christ in all persons, that keep us from respecting the dignity of every human being, powers that have damaged us, powers lodged in each one of us. Heaven help us, we learned last week ,as Harper Lee’s second book is released, that even Atticus Finch was a bigot.

Is help available? As St. Paul asks in Romans 7, who will deliver us? His answer: Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, who came to save us from ourselves, who not only modeled inclusivity and grace, but empowers us to live out those qualities. Jesus, who spoke with the Samaritan woman at the well, who made the Good Samaritan the hero of his parable, who called us to love not only friends but enemies and opponents, who gives the kind of grace in evidence in the families of Charleston victims, grace that declares that love wins.

– Jay Sidebotham

From the Sermon on Mount, Matthew 5-7: 

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Let me take the speck out of your eye”, while the log is in your own eye?You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.

From Paul’s letter to the Galatians:

For in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith. As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.

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Jay SidebothamContact:

Rev. Jay Sidebotham
jsidebotham@renewalworks.org
RenewalWorks is a ministry of Forward Movement.
www.renewalworks.org